(01.12.2009)
Bill: “I wanted to give up everything!” Bill had never been that thoughtful before! Only in BRAVO the Tokio Hotel-front man explains why he is so sad sometimes.
A record studio somewhere in Berlin-Schöneberg (GER). On the first floor stands Bill (20) with the 13 year old BRAVO reader Nora. She had won a small snchronisation role in “Arthur II” via BRAVO. The main character speaks Bill. The singer supports Nora right now, helps her with the recordings. Both are comfortbale to each other, Bill has a lot of fun, laughs all the time. But he shows a totally other side in the following BRAVO interview….
Bill, are you happy?
Bill: I’m totally happy with my career. Our new album “Humanoid” goes well. In most of the european countries it’s even better in the charts than the last two albums!I wish it’d be like that in private. I don’t know, what I need, to be satisfied – but I am unsatisfied.
Do you have a reason for this?
Bill: Maybe because I don’t have time, to be happy about what I’ve reached. I can not be happy or celebrate our success. Because I always have to do something new. And there’s still love missing. Sadly…
How could you find love?Could we help somehow?
Bill: I don’t know it eigther. (sighs) There are a lot of people who try to find their love in reality shows. “Bill in love” wouldn’t fit to me!To arrange feelings for a girl in front of a camera is not possible. That I get to know someone in private is improbable. I don’t even get out of the house to shop.
Why don’t you simply escape out of your world and go out without securiety?
Bill: To be honest I don’t want to try that out, I’m also scared of doing it. Especially in europe it is hard for me to visit a club on my own. Even if bodyguards are with me I feel like being in a photo or signing session. Then I feel like an animal in a zoo. But that comes with being a celebrity. Maybe I get to know someone via my job – who knows? If love comes truely it happens by accident.
Are you satisfied with yourself then?
Bill: Sometimes I absolutely can not stand myself. Performance of myself, I don’t watch them – on TV I hate myself! It also annoys me I always think about something! That I’m so nervous all the time and not relaxed.I always check if the door is locked twice. I almost check it ten times to be sure I hadn’t forgot it. I guess I need to become more relaxed. That’s it.
Are you afraid of the future?
Bill: Yes. Who knows what I’m doing in 5 or 10 years? My horror vision would be an office job! That’s nothing for me. At school I had authority problems, too. I can not listen to someone else but me. I hope, I can always be my own boss.
Do you freak out sometimes – or are you always the “nice” guy?
Bill: I’m absolutely full of emotions, I often screamed at the others or team members, when something went wrong or didn’t fit to me.
How do we have to imagine a “Tokio Hotel”-argument?
Bill: We’ve bet each other in the past. Nowadays it’s more psychological pressure.
Seriously? How do we imagine that?
Bill: We don’t talk to each other anymore. Or we cancel some dates because we know it: If I’m totally excited about the next photo-shooting and Tom’s angry about me then he cancels the shooting secretly. But everything is fine the following day.
Did anyone say in an argument:”That’s enough! I leave.”?
Bill: No one said this loudly yet, but the thought of it surely had everyone. There also were moments I thought: “I don’t do this anymore, I give up everything!”..and this thinking is still in my mind: “That I think, I just want to have time for me.”
Could you explain some situations when you think like that?
Bill: When I don’t know how to go on or if I don’t have ideas anymore. Then there are days I only want to take my stuff – not to have anything to do with that band. But in the end I think of all the fans again, of the engery and fun they give us, the fun being front man of Tokio Hotel.
